and forever is only a lifetime
by TBear Archived
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha, age twenty-three, counts the days by anniversaries. They're not all happy ones.


**Author's note:**

 **Feel free to join my discord. It's Naruto-crossover themed, but there is plenty of discussion regarding non-crossover fanfiction. The code is 4RDsK9J.**

* * *

Anniversaries are always hard.

Sasuke sighs. The day is marked on his calendar - he's known about it for weeks now - and he laments.

Gifts are not his forte. He has one, but the second one is always more immediate. Rolling his fingers across the desk, Sasuke turns and looks outside the large window panes that decorate the office.

It's funny how rain shimmers in the sunlight.

Sunshowers. He remembers his brother telling him about them once. The memory is old, and his brow creases as his heart twists. A grunt leaves from dry lips.

Itachi always has that effect.

Sasuke stands, pushing back his chair - the normal sound of wheels rolling on wood is almost as loud in the empty office as the roaring blood in his ears. He isn't going to finish any work today, so instead of trying, he makes his way out of the room.

The hat - _Naruto's_ hat - remains on the rack. Sasuke never wears it. Kakashi always tries to remind him, but it doesn't belong to either of them.

Just like the room, it is something he doesn't deserve.

* * *

The graveyard is empty when Sasuke arrives.

He isn't surprised; today is a weekday, and most that come to pay respects do so at a much later hour. He knows. He has sat in front of this very stone for hours before.

Perhaps the Chidori isn't the only thing that he and Kakashi share.

Despite himself, Sasuke snorts. The sound is dry, rough, and carries no mirth. He walks forward and crouches low.

 _SAKURA HARUNO_

Sasuke brushes his hand across the words as he reads them - again and again. His jaw grinds when his eyes go over the last name for the final time, and he stands, placing the bouquet of white carnations against the headstone.

"Hey, it's been a long time," Sasuke says, flinching as his voice cracks like a window struck by the stones of passing street urchins.

"I know I don't come by as much as I used to…" His voice trails. "And I'm sorry." Sasuke's hand comes up and rakes through his hair, and he lets out a strained breath.

"But it's so hard!"

Even in death, he finds it difficult to talk to the girl that he should've married.

"I miss you. I miss you so much." His eyes clench shut and his knuckles pop before he releases his tight fists. Instead of trying to speak, Sasuke sighs and stands there until the light rain cools his burning skin.

The sky is orange and the sun is low when he walks away, but he says nothing more.

* * *

"Daddy! You're late!"

Sasuke smiles and raises his hands, trying to placate his daughter. Her bottom lip is jutting out, her arms are crossed over her chest, and her eyes cut away from him - even if they sneak small glances when she thinks he isn't looking.

"Don't be that way," he says, playing Sarada's game, "I had to go get you something from Aunt Karin."

Her emerald eyes snap to him when he pulls a neatly packaged gift out of his pocket, and her head tosses about, throwing around locks of spun gold. She wastes no time ripping away the paper after he hands it to her, and he has to bite his tongue to refrain from laughing.

Sasuke's lip tugs upwards as his daughter marvels at the sight of the red-rimmed glasses. She takes her own off hastily, and puts on the new ones with shaky fingers.

"You did tell me that red is your favorite color."

His face falls when a tear drops from the corner of Sarada's eye.

He squats down immediately, removes her glasses, and wipes the tear away with his thumb. His fingers are rough, but he tries to be as gentle as possible.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Sasuke's stern voice is smooth - soft as silk. "Are you okay?"

She doesn't respond, but hiccups, and he pulls her into a hug. He holds her there, and the seconds fade into minutes with no words spoken.

"I miss Aunt Karin."

Sasuke releases a breath - one that he has held in. "Don't worry, Sweetie, I'm sure that Aunt Karin can come visit soon."

Sarada releases him, and leans back, staring into his eyes. "Really?" Her own eyes sparkle with curiosity, and Sasuke runs a hand through her hair.

"Yes."

She smiles at him, and he feels his heart - cracked and broken and shattered - mend, even if only a little. He reaches into his back pocket, and hands his daughter a scroll.

"This is my gift to you," he says, voice heavy. "You're turning six, and that means that you're old enough to start working on the jutsu hidden away in this scroll."

Her eyes shimmer and a smile stretches across her face - just as it stretched across his face so long ago.

"You don't know much about my brother, but he gave me that same scroll when I was your age."

Sarada jumps at him, and he embraces her in another hug. Naruto isn't here, Itachi isn't here, and Sakura isn't here - but Sasuke will do all he can for his daughter, and he hopes that he can make his family proud.

He doesn't cry - he never cries - but his hand comes up and wipes away some of the rain from earlier.

This anniversary is always hard.


End file.
